This should help you explain the empty stockings…
10. The Department of Justice charged him with monopolistic practices.
9. Rudolph just spent 36 straight hours logged on to AOL’s Flirt’s
Nook under the handle “BigRed.”
8. He’s upgrading to 32-bit gifts.
7. This year, you have to download your gifts via ftp from the
virtual gift library.
6. Too absorbed by Bill Gates’s book, “The Road Ahead,” to leave home.
5. He won’t budge until he gets Copland on his Power Mac.
4. The sleigh isn’t Plug and Play-compatible.
3. He put together the Microsoft/Rolling Stones “Start Me Up” deal
and retired on the proceeds.
2. He’s busy converting old Digital Dispatches into HTML.
1. New name: Santa 2007
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