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Teacher : Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student : I cannot point out but I know the answer
Teacher : Please tell us
Student : The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow

TEACHER : If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have ?
LITTLE JOHNNY : One dollar.
TEACHER (sadly) : You don’t know your arithmetic.
LITTLE JOHNNY (sadly): You don’t know my father.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other [...]

One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. “Now class, I’m going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I’m talking about. Okay, first: it’s round, plump and red.”
Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and [...]

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them
to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday.
The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.
Susie said, “He was born in a manger.”
Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the [...]

The answer to the problem was “log(1+x)”. A student copied the answer from the student next to him, but didn’t want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to “timber(1+x)”.

The English teacher’s husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, “Why, Susan, I’m surprised.” She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, “No. I am surprised. You are astonished.”