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ORIGINAL QUOTE

If you love someone,
Set her free…
If she comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, she never was….

THE NEW VERSIONS…..

Pessimist:

If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she ever comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, as expected, she never was

Optimist:

If you love someone,
Set her free …
Don’t worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:

If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:

If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she doesn’t come back within some time
forget her.

Patient:

If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she doesn’t come back, continue to wait
until she comes back …

Playful:

If you love someone,
Set her free …
* If she comes back,
and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat *

C++ Programmer:

if (you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if (m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:

If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:

If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act
clearly states that…

Bill Gates :

If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
but tell her that she’s also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist :

If you love someone,
Set her free,
She’ll evolve.

Statisticians : (Apte)

If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you,
the probability of her coming back is high
If she doesn’t, your relation was improbable anyway.

Schwarzenegger’s fans:

If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE’LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person

If you love someone
don’t set her free.

HR specialist

If you love someone
set her free by
Offering her VRS and other benefits
Then outsource her.

MBA

If you love someone
set her free instantaneously
and look for others simultaneously

Psychologist

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn’t come back her id is supreme
If she doesn’t go, she must be crazy.

Somnabulist

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back it’s a nightmare
If she doesn’t, you must be dreaming.

ERP functional expert

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she doesn’t, carry out a gap-fit analysis

Finance expert

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn’t, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Marketing Specialist

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back she has brand loyalty
If she doesn’t, reposition the brand in new market

There is an atheist swimming in the ocean. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming towards his boat.
As he looks back he sees the shark turn and head towards him. His boat is a ways off and he starts swimming like crazy. He’s scared to death, and as he turns to see the jaws of the great white beast open revealing its teeth in a horrific splendor, the atheist screams, “Oh God! Save me!”
In an instant time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, “You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?”
Aghast with confusion and knowing he can’t lie the man replies, “Well, that’s true I don’t believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?”
The Lord replies, “As you wish,” and the light retracted back into the heavens and the man could feel the water begin to move once again.
As the atheist looks back he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back.
Shocked, the man looks at the shark as the huge beast closes its eyes and bows its head and says,

“Thank you Lord for this food for which I am about to receive…”

TEACHER : If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have ?

LITTLE JOHNNY : One dollar.

TEACHER (sadly) : You don’t know your arithmetic.

LITTLE JOHNNY (sadly): You don’t know my father.

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodka.”
The barman says “Wow! you must have had one really bad day.”

“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said “WOW! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”

“Yeah, my wife…”

In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear.

When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
If you’re a mama bear,everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. Yup…gonna be a bear.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you
wish you had ordered that.
*******
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
*******
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!
*******
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
*******
It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
*******
It is difficult to understand GOD . He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives
*******
If u r married please ignore this MSG,
For everyone else: Happy Independence Day
*******
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.
*******
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It’s called marriage
*******
Girlfriends are like chocolates,
Taste good anytime.
Lovers are like PIZZAS, Hot ‘n spicy, eaten frequently.
Wife are like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
*******
Man receives telegram: Wife dead should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
*******
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
*******
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
*******
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru
hell.
*******
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
*******
Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offense!

A guy from the gas board phones a house. A little boy answers.
Boy: - hello.
Gas man: - Hello can I speak to your mother or father please?
Boy: - No, they’re busy.
Gas man: - OK. Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Boy: - yes, two older brothers.
Gas man: - can I speak to one of them then please?
Boy: - No, they’re busy.
Gas man: - Is there anyone else in the house?
Boy: - Yes, there’s a policeman.
Gas man: - can I speak to him then please?
Boy: - No he is busy as well.
Gas man: - So what are they all doing?
Boy: - Looking for me.