29 Mar, 2008
Sam had been a soldier at war for more than three years, during which he had been in
many battles and won many decorations. He was finally discharged from service and
returned home to a wife and son whom he hadn’t seen in almost four years.
As he was walking up the path to his house, his young son spotted him and yelled,
“Mommy, Mommy, here comes Daddy, and he’s got a Purple Heart on!”
To which the mother replied, “I don’t give a damn what color it is! Let him in, and you go
play at the Smiths for a couple hours.”
couple hours? 
23 Feb, 2008
A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message on his radio telling him there has been a dead body found in an ice cream van just down the road.
He rushes to the scene where he discovers a man’s body, with chocolate flakes up each nostril, raspberry sauce all over his head and he is covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands.
A puzzled onlooker asks the policeman what he thinks has happened, to which the policeman replies:
“It looks like he’s topped himself” =)
22 Feb, 2008
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
The kid says, “Yeah.”
The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail light on that bike.” The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, “By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
Humouring the kid, the cop says, “Yeah, he sure did.”
The kid says, “Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.” =)
12 Feb, 2008
A motorbike racer is accelerating is boisterous in roadway. Sudden he bumps a sparrow that is directly fall and not awake.
He soon turns around his motorbike and takes the unlucky bird of which unconscious and bring it home.
When getting home, he puts the bird in hutch. Before the racer go, he doesn’t forget to leave the bread and water in the hutch.
A few moments after the racer has gone, the sparrow finally recovers consciousness and looks around it, saying:” Trellis …, bread …, water …. Oh my God!!! I have killed the racer!! i’m in jail now.”
4 Feb, 2008
A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate.
“I’ve got a great policeman joke. Would you like to hear it?”
“I should let you know first that I am a policeman.”
“That’s OK. I’ll tell it really slow!”
17 Jan, 2008
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
Policeman: “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.”
Woman: “Well, I have contacts.”
Policeman: “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!”
27 Dec, 2007
A tourist asks a man in uniform, “Are you a policeman?”
“No, I am an undercover detective.”
“So why are you in uniform?”
“Today is my day off.
