“Never trust a dog to watch your food.”
– Patrick, age 10
“When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?’
Don’t answer.”
– Hannah, age 9
Never tell your Mom her diet’s not working.”
– Michael, age 14
“Stay away from prunes.”
– Randy, age 9
“Don’t pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.”
– [...]
All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George W. Bush….maybe :D “I think we can agree. The past is over.”
“I have learned from mistakes I may or may not have made.”
“It was just inebreating what the Midlands was all about then.” (A slip on exhillerating)
“It’s clearly the budget. It [...]
1. “I’m in the management training program. I’m actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) that I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.”
2. “I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without hands.”
3. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
4. “This is [...]
Sum Ting Wong went for a job interview to be a secretary. When the manager saw Sum Ting Wong’s colorful attire and gold & white-highlighted hair, his mind was screaming ‘NOT THIS WOMAN’.
Nevertheless, he [...]
Baywatch
What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson’s breasts?
Silicon Valley.
Bear and Toilet
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
A: Winnie the Pooh!
Batman & Robin Flatten Criminals!
What happened when [...]
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy [...]
I SHALL SEEK AND FIND YOU…..
I SHALL TAKE YOU TO BED AND HAVE MY WAY WITH YOU…
I WILL MAKE YOU ACHE, SHAKE, AND SWEAT UNTIL YOU MOAN, AND
>> GROAN…
I [...]