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After Christmas vacation, an elementary school teacher was asking her students how they
celebrated Christmas. When she got to Sammy, whose father ran a local toy store, she
said, “Sammy, since you’re Jewish, I guess your family didn’t celebrate Christmas.”
Sammy replied, “Oh yes, we did. We all held hands and danced around the cash register
singing, ‘What A Friend We Have In Jesus.’”
Before or after you read this joke, we recommend you to read this one too
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it”
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said “Son, I’m real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your bible diligently, but you didn’t get hair cut!”
The young man waited a moment and replied “You know dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair and even Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied “Yes, son, and they walked everywhere they went!”
One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a Judo tournament. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, “You don’t have a chance, I have Kano, Mifune, Kotani, Kimura and all the greatest players up here”.
“Yes”, snickered the Devil, “but I have all the referees.”
Two friends are talking in a very private condition..
Lil KAm: “You know Em.. God never gives everything you pray to Him if you still act like evil.”
EminenG: ” Yeahh.. i know that KAm.. That’s why i never pray to God.”
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just kidding 
the pastor was talking to a group of the children in the sunday school. He thought them about being good and going to heaven.And the evil to hell
At the end of his talk he asked:” Where do you want to go?”
“Heavennn…!!!!” a little girl shouted loud.
“And what do you have to do to get there?” he asked again.
“Fucking Dead” Said little Jhonny louder…
The end of days has come.
All peoples who died or live will judge according to their atitude in life to choose which place he will be. Of course there’s only two options : paradise the 1 st and hell the other one.
And now the time for God to judge Bill Gates. As you know he’s the boss of microsoft company, the biggest operating system provider in computer industrilization.
Before judging Bill Gates, God make some conversation with him.
God say “I know you gave contribution amazingly for humanbeing in technology. Although sometimes people use computer for negative activities, I think you’re so useful. I’m so confused on putting you in the hell or paradise. So I decided to ask you, what place you want to go”.
Then Bill ask “sorry i haven’t gone to both places, so what the differences of those places?”
God answer “In paradise, there’s white angel, all kind guy and cheerful life. In other hand at hell, there are ozzy osbourne, kurt cobain, marilyn monroe, asia carrera and other famous guys. Also beautiful mountain, gorgeous beach with nice waves, and others awesome nature views”
“So, what will you choose?” God ask
“hmm..honestly, it’s such a hard choice” said bill.
“Give me one day to think before i make a choose” bill beg
“ok…i’ll come tomorrow. Think it times n times and may be the best one” God said
The D-Day, god come to ask gate.
“The time has come. What place you want to be” God asking
“I have my own. Cause I like sunshine and beach, I choose hell”said bill
“ok..as you wish, you’ll be put in hell”
after 2 days in hell, god visits bill in hell
“how do you feel , bill. enjoy, ha? “god say..
“i think you lied to me. Yesterday you said that the hell like a beach soak with sun and nice waves. But i couldn’t find it. What the hell with this?” bill angry
“Hey man, that’s just a wallpaper in computer from microsoft product” God laughing
A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her.
He asked God, “Why did you make her so kind-hearted?”
The Lord responded, “So you could love her, my son.”
“Why did you make her so good-looking?”
“So you could love her, my son.”
“Why did you make her such a good cook?”
“So you could love her, my son.”
The man thought about this. Then he said, “I don’t mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but … why did you make her so stupid?”
“So she could love you, my son.”
just another funny two way monologoues , let’s share some fun 
