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Do you know what’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer??

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A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years.

A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy , an Honest Lawyer and an old drunk man are walking down the street together, when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill.

the question is: ” WHO GETS IT ? ”

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The old drunk of course.

The other three are mythical creatures!!

From us (”the wishor”) to you (”hereinafter called the wishee”), please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all … and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2004, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:

• This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal
• This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.
• This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.
• This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.
• This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
• The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor
• Any references in this greeting to “the Lord”, “Father Christmas”, “Our Savior”, or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

before you read this stupid lawyers questions,i suggest you to read the part 1 and the part 2 before

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

anybody want to help me to find more stupid lawyer questions ???

just wait for the part 4

A lawyer seeks console from his Parish Priest, after his wife leaves him due to excessive drinking.

Priest: “My son, I’ll ask your wife to go back home, but you have to promise me that you will stop drinking.”

Lawyer: “Yes! Father, I swear!”

A few hours later, the Priest sees the lawyer drinking in a neighborhood bar.

Priest: “My son, you’re lying about your drinking again.”

Lawyer: “Father, this is not wine. It is water.”

Priest: “I’ll be a witness to that, my son.”

The Priest leans over and smells the contents of the glass and says, “My son, you’re lying again. This is not water. It is wine.”

Lawyer: “Alleluia, alleluia! Father, the miracle of Cana has come, the water has changed into wine!”

before you read this stupid lawyers qouestions, i suggest you to read the part one before.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
haha…

lawyers… jerks