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Signs that you Might Need another Lawyer

Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser
When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each othe
Your lawyer picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.”
Your lawyer tells you that he has never told a lie

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetary.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: Take your foot off his head.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: No? Good!

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: What’s the difference between [...]

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of
people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the
gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of [...]

An angry man came storming out of the courthouse, ranting and raving. He stomped
across the street and into the bar and flounced down on a stool muttering, “Asshole attorneys.”
The man next to him recoiled in outrage, saying, “I want you to know I highly resent that remark.”
“Why, are you an attorney?”
“No, I′m an asshole.”

Attorney to Witness: “Your foster son, Corey, who cooks for him?”
Witness: “Oh, I do.”
Attorney: “How often do you cook for him?”
Witness: “We have probably one good meal a week.”
Attorney: “Well, no commentary on your cooking, but how many bad meals do you have?”

After a two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the judge turned
to the jury foreman and asked, “Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?”
“Yes, we have, your honor,” the foreman responded.
“Would you please pass it to me,” The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to
retrieve the verdict [...]

Johnny appeared as a witness in a lawsuit. The attorney asked, “Where were you on the
night of July 10?”
“Your Honor, I object,” yelled the counsel for the defense.
“That’s all right, go ahead and ask me,” said Johnny. The prosecutor repeated the
question and again the defense objected.
“Hey. Why shouldn’t he ask me?” said Johnny. “I’ll answer.”
The [...]