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When you you′re in the elevator with someone you don’t know, dab his shoulder! Then you ostensibly look to other side and whistling.

Press the button and then you lift and ostensibly get shocked by the electricity then smiling at him. And then Repeat it again.
Show a face grimace in pain while holding your head and [...]

Jet Li walked into a pub in New York with his pal. He says to his pal: “Hey! That’s Steven Spielberg over there! God, I wish he’ll come over to say “hi”.
Spielberg suddenly walked over and gave the man a punch on the nose.
Li  : “Hey!! What that’s for?!”
Spielberg  : “You bloody Japanese killed my [...]

It’s just another husbands’ complaints about thier marriage.
PART  1
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you
wish you had ordered that.
*******
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of [...]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger frantically jumps up, removes all her clothing and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone on this plane who is man enough??!!”
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this.”

Two Jewish gentlemen walk into a Chinese restaurant in China.
They ask the waiter,
“Hello my friend, we are just visiting your lovely country
as part of our travels and noticed that
we have seen Jews everywhere.
We have seen
North American Jews,
South American Jews,
European Jews,
Australian Jews
and even Antarctic Jews.
We were wondering if there are Chinese Jews.”
The waiter paused and asked [...]

Russian: “Please turn your ship 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.”
United States: “NO..!! It is better that you turn north!”
Russian: “You must turn to avoid the collision!”
United States: “I’m U.S. Navy captain. I said you turn to north !!!!”
Russian: “No. I say again, you turn to south!”

Signs that you Might Need another Lawyer

Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser
When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each othe
Your lawyer picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.”
Your lawyer tells you that he has never told a lie