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What is the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a scum sucking bottom dweller and the other is a fish!

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.

If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Attila the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice.