Archive for October, 2008

Jet-Li vs Steven Spielberg | Hollywood jokes.

Monday, October 27th, 2008

Jet Li walked into a pub in New York with his pal. He says to his pal: “Hey! That’s Steven Spielberg over there! God, I wish he’ll come over to say “hi”.
Spielberg suddenly walked over and gave the man a punch on the nose.
Li  : “Hey!! What that’s for?!”
Spielberg  : “You bloody Japanese killed my [...]

Wedding ,Marriage ,Woman ,Wives,Men ,Husbands

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

It’s just another husbands’ complaints about thier marriage.
PART  1
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you
wish you had ordered that.
*******
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of [...]

Act like a woman, die like a woman.

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger frantically jumps up, removes all her clothing and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone on this plane who is man enough??!!”
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this.”

The Jews jokes

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Two Jewish gentlemen walk into a Chinese restaurant in China.
They ask the waiter,
“Hello my friend, we are just visiting your lovely country
as part of our travels and noticed that
we have seen Jews everywhere.
We have seen
North American Jews,
South American Jews,
European Jews,
Australian Jews
and even Antarctic Jews.
We were wondering if there are Chinese Jews.”
The waiter paused and asked [...]

Excerpts radio conversations between the United States warships and Russian authorities.

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Russian: “Please turn your ship 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.”
United States: “NO..!! It is better that you turn north!”
Russian: “You must turn to avoid the collision!”
United States: “I’m U.S. Navy captain. I said you turn to north !!!!”
Russian: “No. I say again, you turn to south!”

Need another lawyer

Saturday, October 11th, 2008

Signs that you Might Need another Lawyer

Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser
When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each othe
Your lawyer picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.”
Your lawyer tells you that he has never told a lie

Lawyer Question and answer

Saturday, October 11th, 2008

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetary.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: Take your foot off his head.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: No? Good!

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: What’s the difference between [...]