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A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.
The doctor said, “Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a lawyer’s brain as well. It costs $50,000.”
The client asked, “What? How’s that possible?”
The doctor replied, “You see, it’s totally unused.”
Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Marine said “those are deer tracks.” The second Marine said “No, those are elk tracks.” The third Marine said “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.
Boy: “I got an F in arithmetic.”
Father: “Why?”
Boy: “The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3?’ and I said ‘6′”
Father: “But that’s right!”
Boy: “Then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?’”
Father: “What’s the fucking difference?”
Boy: “That’s exactly what i answered!”
Teacher: “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Student: “Seven!”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Student: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?”
Student: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Student: “Seven!”
Teacher: “How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?”
Student: “I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!”
“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. “Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer. “Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.I’m with you ,Sir.”
The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, “What do you like best about it, class? Let’s start with you, Robert.”
Robert: “The artwork.”
Teacher: “Very good. And you, Peter?”
Peter: “Her tits!”
Teacher: “Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall! And you, Johnny?”
Johnny: “I’m leaving, Sir, I’m leaving…”
Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!”
Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?”
Boy: “No.”
Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.”
Boy: “And do you know who I am?”
Girl: “No,”
Boy: “Oh, Thank God!”
