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pupil: Mam, would you punish me for something i didn’t do?
Teacher: no, of course not. what happen sweet boy?
pupil: oh thank you ,Mam.Because i didn’t do my homework.

In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the president narrowed the field to three finalist, the CIA, the FBI, and the Chicago Police.
The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.
The CIA went into the forest. They placed animal informants [...]

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
No? Good!
Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.
Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
How can you [...]

Customer: “My laptop won’t turn on.”
Tech Support: “Did the battery run out, maybe?”
Customer: “No, it doesn’t use batteries. It’s Windows powered.”

a good policeman saw a crying boy at the pedestrian. He came towards him
policeman: are you lost ,Champ ?
the boy : yes sir…..( still crying )
policeman: ohhh… so sorry.. then where do you live?
the boy : if i knew i can go home myself!!! You stupidcop..!!
the cop shocked foolishly….

Any time you feel dumb, don′t worry. Check out the following excerpts from a “Wall Street Journal” article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key″ to “Press Return Key″ because of the many calls asking where the “Any″ key is.
2. AST technical support [...]

A woman got on a bus holding her baby.
The busdriver said: ” Arrgghh  … That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked [...]